Why Me?

Why did he choose me?
Just why God he choose me?
What is so special about me?
Is it the way i speak, is it how i write, or is it the way i act.
You see, when i look at me, myself in the mirror i just see me.
But to everybody else they see a daughter, auntie, sister, poet, somebody they can talk to and listen to their problems.
Why did he choose me to go what i went through and is still going through now.
I done been through some stuff that broke me down, and some stuff that built me up.
I had to cut some friends but turned around and gained some new ones.
You see every day for me is a constant struggle
As Langston Hughes said "Life for me ain't been no crystal stair".
I won't meet my future until it meets me.
But until then i will ask this very question,
WHY ME?

Love

Love, what can u say about it?
People may think its just a word
It is more powerful than u think
Love is like a twister, it can twist and turn u worse than before
Its like a bird, it can fly away and never return or it can bring u 4ever happiness
Its like a flower, it can blossom every morning and remind u of the love u have 4 ur partner, or it shrivel up and die and leave u with nothing but heartache
It can break u down or it build u up
Love, what can u say about it?
It is one of the many emotions that can make u do strange things

Love or Lust

What is this feeling that i'm feeling?
Can you please help me to understand
Is this luv or lust
When my heart smile when i hear his voice, is that luv? or is it lust?
When my knees buckle when his lips touch mine, and make me want our bodies to intertwine
Can you please help understand if this is lust? or is it luv?
Or could it be both
When i go to sleep and dream of our future, dream of the day that i take his name in marriage, and live together in forever happiness
Could this truly be luv? or is it truly lust?
Can you please help me to understand this
What is this feeling that i'm feeling
Is it luv or lust
Can you help me, i think that it might be both

Teenage Statistic

How many of teenage statistics do you know?
Are u a teenage statistic?
Many people say that a teenage statistic for a 16 year old female, is to drop out of school and have a baby
Every young female doesn't fall into that catergory
Some actually have dreams of leaving and having a future
When people see me, or my friends
Tthey don't see Louvenia the friend, Louvenia the girlfriend, or Syncere the poet
They don't see a group of intelligent young females that has a future
Just by the way we look,
They just assume that this goup of girls doesn't have a future, but might have a baby
So after all the work that me and my friends do and are still doing,
Do any of that matter?
I know that my statistics are being part of my graduating class in high school and the top 10% of my college and law school class
My statistics is having my dream job, with my dream husband, living my dream life
My statistics of a better life might not coincide with the world's statistics but i don't care
I wasn't raised to become another teenage statistics
I was raised to find a goal, believe in it, and pursue it
If by chance somebody do become 1, you have the choice to change that
I hope this poem has got you thinking
Are you a teenage statistics ?
Are you starting to become 1?
Or are you already 1?

When Does 2 Much become 2 Much?

Everyday my struggles become 2 much and my pain become more hurtful.
Everyday I see my mother try her best, but nothing seems 2 work out.
Everyday I try 2 live with a smile on my face.
As Tupac said, I want 2 be the rose that grows from concrete.
But unlike his words, my concrete is keeping me down.
When you pay the bills, but they still get shut off,
Is this 2 much?
When you get something new, but it get stolen that night,
Is this 2 much?
when you pay your house note but they still foreclose on it,
Is this 2 much to bear?
When you have a baby and you have no help, and nowhere to turn 2,
Is this 2 much to bear?

These are questions that i ask myself everyday, what is 2 much?
I was taught that God never gives us more than we can handle.

But can someone please answer this question,

When does 2 much become to much for 1 person to handle?

Sick of Trying PT2 (My Tears)

I am still trying.
Trying to ease my pain, trying to ease my tears.
I am trying to find my way, but right now.
I’m just sick of trying!
I’m sick of going to school, trying to find a house to stay in, sick of trying to find where my next meal will be coming from.
The more I try to help myself, nobody wants to help me.
I am so sick of pushing, and getting pushed into a brick wall.
Is there a way out?
Is there a way to just leave and never come back?
My tears are always falling, but there is nobody to wipe them away.
I pray, and I pray so hard and nothing seems to happen.
I want my mother to get better, and I want a house that is filled with love rather than sadness, and confusion.
I want my good life here on earth, not just in heaven.
I pray, wish, and hope things would change, but I am just so damn
SICK OF TRYIN!!!!!

I'm Tired

I sit and wonder, WHY?
I wonder why I get my hopes up every damn time

I'm tired

Tired of seein my mama stressin,
Tired of being sick and tired
I sit and wonder

I wonder if this is it 4 me?
I sit and wonder if he even wanted another child, even me as a daughter?
I wonder wat kind of man would do this?

My mama always said I never wanted for anything, OH but she was so wrong
I always wanted 4 a father that would choose his own family rather than other women
I want the kind of family that I could grow and mature in

I'm tired
I'm sick and tired of the lies, and the broken promise that my sperm-donor made to me
I'm tired of taking in what other peple say about me, I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM ANYMORE!!!
I had to figure out, the same people that talk all that shit is not helping me with anything in my life.

Sometimes I just and wonder
I wonder is this is it 4 me?

I wonder why I'm so sick and tired

~Ladi Syncere~

I'M DONE.....

TODAY IN MY 2ND HOUR MEETIN IJUST HAD TO VENT! I HAD TO VENT ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HE DID AND DID NOT DO IN MY LIFE. I HAD TO REALIZE THAT I WENT THIS LONG WITHOUT HIM AND I MAKE IT FUTHER!!

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF FEMALES THAT THINK THEY HAVE THE PERFECT DAMN LIFE AND THINK THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO COMMENT ON MINE. MOTHERFUCKERS CAN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE NOT THE SAME! MY LIFE IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM YOURS, SO JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!

I'M DONE WITH THE FEMALES AT MUMFORD HIGH SCHOOL! MY NIGGA K.O TOLD ME SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO HER LAST WEEK WITH A SIMPLE FEMALE THAT JUST TALK SO MUCH SHIT THAT CAN'T BACK IT UP! I NEVER LIKED THE FEMALE N I KNOW SHE DON'T LIKE ME, SO PLEASE KEEP MY NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!!

ANOTHER THING, THESE DAMN NIGGAZ NOW A DAYS! I'M GETTIN PISSED OFF WITH PEOPLE THAT I KNOW THAT HAS A GIRL BUT TRYIN 2 GET WIT SOMEBODY ELSE! PLEASE DON'T WRITE ME KNOWING U GOT SOMEBODY ELSE! TRY 2 BE A REAL MAN RATHER THAN A LITTLE BOY N STICK TO 1 PERSON!

MY TIME AT MUMFORD HAS BEEN OKAY. I HAD TO ENCOUNTER THE NORMAL BITCHES N HATERS N SIMPLE ASS FEMALES THAT CAN'T KEEP MY NAME OUT THEY MOUTH. I'M DONE!!!

IF YOU FEEL THIS IS ABOUT YOU, THEN U KNOW HOW TO GET AT ME
IF YOU FEEL YOU WANT TO SWING ON ME, N TRY TO KICK MY ASS, U KNOW WHERE I GO TO SCHOOL

IN THIS, MY LAST SEMESTER OF SCHOOL, I DONE PUT UP WITH A LOT OF SHIT, BUT AS TODAY,
I'M DONE!!!!!!

~LADI BOSS~

I'M DONE PT 2

Here come another 1!!!!

I'm so sick and tired of simple people trying 2 go hard on somebody!
How in the hell u gon try 2 fix my problems and u can barely fix your own shit!
I don't care what i am, u can not a damn double standard. Everything i say or do is fucking wrong and if u go hard on somebody, its alrite!!!
NO, THAT IS SOME BULLSHIT!!!b>
Don't confront me until u can step your game up!

These damn females today need 2 leave me the FUCK alone before i fuck them up!
Just beacuse u confused about yourself, don't come and try and FUCK UP somebody else shit!
You don't know who or wat u FUCKIN dealin wit!
You don't have to be a childish, petty as hell in high school!
If the motherfucker don't want, don't fuckin pursue it!!!!
If she don't go hard, her sisters will, WE WILL FUCK U UP, NO MATTER WAT GRADE U IN!!!
I'm sick and tired of all this bullshit!!!!!!

Niggaz, please don't go hard on people just cuz u caught up!
Its not my fault, your punk ass lied n got in trouble!
WORD OF ADVICE: don't call me a BITCH ever agin, cuz the next time will be your last time ever walkin, and breathin
I'm tired of all this petty and childish shit, ITS REALLY TIME TO GROW UP!

WHEN YOU READ THIS AND GOT A PROBLEM, I REALLY DON'T GIVE A FUCK!
SAY WAT U WANT, BUT I'M DONE!!

Ladi. Diva
Don't fuck wit me!!!

What Do You Do?

What do you do when the person u like have somebody else? What are u supposed to feel, is it heartache and pain or feelings of happiness for them because they found somebody?
What do u do....

What do u do when u want 2 leave but u have no where 2 go? Are u supposed to stay there and deal with the pain or leave and find some peace. But once you leave.....whats next?
What do u do......

What do u do when u have something 2 say and nobody around u wants 2 listen. When u get to that point that you are about to break down and the only thing you need is somebody to listen to you and not judge you and you cant find it,
What do u do.....

When do u know when u have hit rock bottom?

When u get there, what in the hell do u supposed 2 do next, where r u supposed 2 go?
What do you do....

What in the hell do u do when u get the the urge 2 do something that is so wrong, but u know that it will hurt everyone around u in the long run? Are u supposed to stay and have your happiness stifled n put aside to please everybody else....or......do u do it and just take the consequsences?
What do u do....

What do u do when u feel all hope is gone and all the stuff u say/said and all the things you do/did dont even matter anymore?

WHAT DO U DO?

The Rose That Grew From Concrete

“Did u hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature’s laws wrong it learned how to walk without having feet
Funny it seems but by keeping its dreams it learned 2 breathe fresh air
Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else cared!”
-Tupac Shakur
I wanna be that rose
That rose that grew through the all the hurt and pain
Through all the tears and rain

All my life, my mama tried her best to raise me right
Now that im out from under her protection and on my own,
I wanna be that rose

The rose that will not be kept down by society
Kept away from my goals, my dreams because of what you may think of me, and how sterotypes describe how a young African American woman is supposed to act
With the help of my mother who has more than enough courage,
I had enough courage to go through what I’ve been through and what im still going through
I will gain more and become that rose
“Wait on the Lord:be of good courage, and he shall strenghten thine heart:wait, I say on the Lord”
-Psalms 27:14

I wanna be the rose
The rose that grew from concrete
The rose that decieded from a young age that I will accomplish all my goals and dreams

“Did u hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature’s laws wrong it learned how to walk without having feet
Funny it seems but by keeping its dreams it learned 2 breathe fresh air
Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else cared!”
-Tupac Shakur

Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day sayin “I will try again tomorrow”

I will be,
THE ROSE THAT GREW FROM CONCRETE

I wanna grew so that 1 day i will live in bliss wit people that really love me and truly care about me
I WANNA BE THE ROSE

What Has Become Of Me Now

What has become of me now?
This is not what I used to be....

I know I'm a good girl. A lot of people say I'm "wifey material".
For some reason, I don't see what they see.
All i see is me

What has become of me now?
This is not what I used to be....

I was always raised to be a strong and independent young woman.
Raised to ask for help when I need it.
It seem like now, when i ask for help i always get the same questions...
"Can i get some ass?" or " Can i get sum pussy?" or the best 1 of all "Are u gone suck my dick?"
When did asking for help become so nasty?

What has become of me now?
This is not what I used to be.....

I'm going through a lot of b.s right now.
I try not 2 show it. But when people ask i sometimes tell them.
The number 1 answer i get is....."Well u sexy, use what you got to get what you need/want"
I refuse to do that. I don't knock the people that do for a living, but I don't have it in me.

I rather be broke and happy, then to have money and regret about how i got it

What has become of me now?
This is not what I used to be....

Some people just see the chest and thighs and only want sex from me.
You may want that, but that don't mean I will give it 2 you.
I'm more than that, and if you canit see that then that's your problem and not mine.

I look for love 1 day just like everyone else.
Its hard because everybody out here has they own personal agenda's.
That's not fair to anybody,including themselves.

What has become of me now?

Is this the person I should be in this point in my life?

I really don't know.....?

My Midnight Tears

They say I'm to young
They say I don't understand
They say my problems don't matter
These are my midnight tears

I look at my mother and see how strong she is
Im used to hearing her cry at night
I hear her tears and see them stain the floors
She never tells anybody her problems
I finally understand her midnight tears

Many people look at me and have no idea what im going through
Instead of talking about it, i bottle up everything
1 day, thinking about my life
Staring at my walls and reading my poems...my mind started to wonder
"I am so sick of pushing, and getting pushed into a brick wall"
"My tears are always falling, but there is nobody to wipe them away"

So on this night, I decided to let go and let God!
On this night, I just decided to let it all out.
I sat in my bed and had a conversation with God
I cried to him and asked for help and told him I needed him

I didn't care who heard me, I needed this

I finally let out,
MY MIDNIGHT TEARS